The fair comes around once a year

R has struggles.  That being said, it does not give him a free pass on being an asshole.  I will not let his situation be a free pass on acting out.  I hate, yes I said hate, parents who allow their children to get away with murder because of their struggles.  I feel it instills in kids an excuse for misbehaving...I know, I am a bitch.

 Let me explain.

When things get rough for my son, and it does, usually in public. I have a tendency to explain the situation to people.  I don't make excuses for his behavior nor do I allow it to go on.  I explain to him and those around him how this is not how you behave. Right or wrong this is how we do things.  Life is not fair, people do not get treated the same in every situation and children have to learn this.  And this is what I mean by explaining...am I making any sense???

A dear friend of mine tells her son that, "the fair comes around once a year and it has left town!!", I love this statement.  Think about it.  In your family, mom and dad are treated differently than the kids, the kids get treated differently, before you go shit balls crazy hear me out.  A three year old does not get treated like your 10 year old...do they?  NO!  If you treated everyone in the house the same what a complete disservice you do to your kids.  Now, there are ways the kids have to do similar things, chores, bed, brush teeth etc. ...but if you think I let a three year old use the stove because her sister does and she thinks it's, "unfair".  Well suck it up.

Life, she isn't fair.

Back to R.  He has auditory sensory issues and is rarely without his noise cancelling headphones.  He uses a personal FM system in the classroom and when we go places so that my voice goes directly into his ears.  He wears thick glasses with bifocals and still has vision issues after 3 surgeries.  He does not tolerate the feel of some clothing, he prefers loose fitting pj's.  He didn't speak until he was three and still sees a speech therapist weekly.  He does homework 365 days a year and sees a year round tutor.  He has asthma and is allergic to anything that has a stinger.  He has had 3 sets of tubes for his ears and his adnoids removed.  He has hypothyroidism that caused him to spend too much time in the hospital last summer.  He has nervous ticks that are chewing his hands, itching body parts until they are raw and snarfing (a fancy term for sniffing with his nose loudly and repeatedly).  He will repeat himself quite a few times until he can get his thoughts together so what he wants to say comes out.  He gets scared of leaving the house, having his hair cut, loud noises and the birds outside his window which he says, "they are angry birds mom...they CAWWWACAEEEAAEEEEE  at me all morning", he is frightened of the dark or any light being shut off.  He closes all the doors in the house all day long...this is a short list.

See.  Life is not fair.



Now, here's the other list.  He loves to laugh.  He will give you a hug like no one has ever given you.  He cares about his sisters and tells them daily how much he loves them.  He feels more empathy than any child I have met.  He has the craziest imagination and tells the best stories.  He makes some mean chili.  He will carry his lizard around to show her what everyone is doing.  He makes us laugh with his rap songs and "cool moves".  He loves Indian food.  He pats S's back to put her to sleep.  He loves to snowboard, hula hoop, jump rope and ride his bike.  He can tell you anything you never wanted to know about Bey Blades. He likes to introduce people to his family.  His smile is addictive, people are drawn to his energy.  He knows when he can't handle a situation and ops out. He is learning to use the phone (thanks Sarah).  He is the only one of my children that I love to take to the market...you come home with 30 bouncy balls, no groceries and  a "plan".  He will make you believe.

I do not make excuses for him.  He is as God made him.

And he has made me a better person by being his mom.