the meeting...eeeek

So, we set up a meeting at the agency, us the "prospective adoptive parents" and her the "prospective birthmother".

Imagine the most nerve racking, stomach punching, want to puke, want to cry job interview you have ever had...it won't even touch this. It was like a dream. We met at 4 pm, both of us went to work and worked a half day, because what else were we going to do? I'll tell ya, we would have wondered around the house, staring at each other and become more stressed out and slightly crazy. Going to work gave us a sense of normalcy in a very "unnormal" situation.

We had written and rewritten questions for the birthmother, questions that our social worker asked us to write. She didn't give us a list or anything, we just thought up these questions and I carried around this piece of paper like the holy grail. We still have them, tucked away in K's baby book, I think we asked 2 of the 15 questions that we wrote! The social worker wanted us to have these questions to help the conversation "flow". I think 3 people besides ourselves knew we were meeting with her. Again, we were protecting ourselves from the shit storm of questions that would fly our way. We didn't have answers, so why add that stress to our lives??

We showed up at the agency and our social worker came out...we were nervous. I peed 3 times after arriving, classy I know. She told us that "Frannie" had brought some family with her for support. Great. I thought this was a smart, mature move, she needs support at this time and I was glad her family was there for her. Then the social worker told us it was her sister, mother, aunt, and grandmother. Now, i was shit balls scared...and I had to pee...

We walked into a conference room and chairs were set up in a circle. The five woman were sitting down, we made our way over. I was feeling so nervous, but felt better with the social worker there. She had done this before, she was a pro. She introduced everyone we shook hands and said hello, then...OUR SOCIAL WORKER LEFT US!!!! No shit, she said she would be back later and walked out the door...I really had to pee...

We stared at each other...and stared. Then "Frannie" said, "how do you say your last name? I've been trying to figure it out?". She gave us the gift of an ice breaker. We laughed and told her, she said she really liked our album and letter which she holding in her lap. I was trying to remember what we had put in the letter, I hadn't read it in a year! Crap!!

We talked about growing up, our families, we talked about were we worked and that I was willing to quit my job, we talked about life...the conversation started to flow. She said that she was having a baby girl! We didn't ask, I took this as a good sign :)

Then her aunt asked about religion. We are born and raised Catholic, we attend church and knew we wanted our child to be Catholic. Her family is strict southern Baptist. Her aunt started on us and called us Mary worshipers and that she didn't like the Catholic church....

Then, for the first time her grandmother spoke, "will the child have God in her life?"

We said yes

"That's good enough for me", conversation over.

The social worker came back in and asked Frannie's family to step out. We spoke, just the 3 of us and when we left she said, "I think I made a great choice".

HUH?

"I think you guys will make great parents, thanks for meeting with me."

And that was that. She had made her decision. And it was US!

Holy crap...now what???